Positives!

Here we go:

I have managed to NOT lose any kids in the last 10 months!

All the children have grown, even without me cooking for them!

The swingset in the back is almost completed!

I enjoy working 2 days a week for my aunt!

When I finally get the boxes in the garage unpacked it’ll be just like Christmas!

Shopping makes me feel better, you should see all my shoes!

I love my camera!

Last time I took the kids out to eat we paid a strangers’ bill.  The kids learned “Random acts of Kindness”

Sally Anne will stay in the bath tub for hours!

I have successfully avoided cooking for 10 months!

Visiting dogs make good vacuums!

Feeling Bi-Polar isn’t so bad…wait… Yes it is!

Yuck!

I was waiting to post until I actually had something upbeat and happy to comment about, but alas…Life still sucks.  and I am still hanging in there, sometimes by a rope other times by a tiny thread. 

The kids are all doing well, they are happy most of the time. 

I am still working twice a week which means I have to get dressed and be friendly, it is probably good for me.

I’m making plans to take the boys backpacking, Jeff would be proud of me.

My house is a mess and my organizational skills have left the building.

I still can’t make important decisions, and prioritizing is almost impossible.

I really miss being a wife.

I enjoy going to church.

I considered running away to join the circus, but my resume wasn’t good enough.

It’s been almost 10 months, and still feels like last week.

I miss Jeff!

sad

Sometimes I just feel so sad.  I don’t know why, it’s just all of the sudden, nothing really triggers it, it just happens.  Okay, maybe PMS has something to do with it.  I really just want my old life back, my life with Jeff.  My family life.  I still feel so incomplete.  He is missing.  I’m sick of this, I want him back.

Here are some pics from the first day of school:

 

Octopus

I need 8 hands and 4 sets of eyes to keep up with the kids.  Heck, I need 4 clones.  School has started, you’d think I’d be grateful, but school is like 12x more stressful, 9x more work, and 15x more guilt. 

Ben started the school year with a bang.  He is in Jazz band (Thursday mornings @ 7am) and Pep Band (practices + games) already.  I feel bad because I can’t be a more involved parent, the parent I used to be.  I used to love volunteering and being there to cheer my kids on.  Now I can’t, I can not be everywhere at once. 

Sally’s first day of pre-school was today, she LOVED it.  Her teacher said she was “perfect”.  I had 3 hours alone (to clean).  Today was the first day I have been alone in the house, EVER.  It was odd.

Sam still puts up a fight about going to school.  It makes for a rotten way to start the day.  He does end up going, just not happily.

Joe has discovered he’s hot.  He likes the female attention he gets from all the girls at school.

Juli loves school, but is a bear at home, I feel bad for her, but she is turning into a big brat.  Ugghhh!

Getting all 5 kids ready and out the door on time is a challenge.  I have great “first day of school” pics I’ll post soon…

Then and Now…

2002

 

2008