I don’t understand how things can be fine, even great, one day and then totally fucked up the next. We had plans, we had dreams, we had goals. We were planning Christmas. We were going to go to the movies on Saturday, instead we went to his funeral.
People have been so nice and helpful, strangers have stopped by our house to say that they are sorry, I’m sorry too. I don’t want to be a widow, I don’t want to be a widow with 5 young kids. When I read in the papers the articles talk about Jeff leaving behind his widow and 5 kids, and I feel sooo bad for them, then I realize that it’s ME they are talking about. If only I could rewind my life to last Tuesday. I want to be that person again. Not the widow with 5 young kids that I read about. I want my life back, I want my Jeff back.