I don’t understand

I don’t understand how things can be fine, even great, one day and then totally fucked up the next.  We had plans, we had dreams, we had goals.  We were planning Christmas.  We were going to go to the movies on Saturday, instead we went to his funeral. 

People have been so nice and helpful, strangers have stopped by our house to say that they are sorry, I’m sorry too.  I don’t want to be a widow, I don’t want to be a widow with 5 young kids.  When I read in the papers the articles talk about Jeff leaving behind his widow and 5 kids, and I feel sooo bad for them, then I realize that it’s ME they are talking about.  If only I could rewind my life to last Tuesday.  I want to be that person again.  Not the widow with 5 young kids that I read about.  I want my life back, I want my Jeff back.

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24 responses to “I don’t understand

  1. Dear Laura

    We don’t know each other. I just wanted to say how sorry I was for your loss. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. Dear Laura,

    I came over from Tertia’s site. I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. I wish there were any words to make it better, but there aren’t. You will be in my thoughts.

  3. Laura,

    I too came from Tertia’s site. I am so sorry – there are no words, but I want you to know a stranger in the computer is thinking of you. And reading.

    ~Art.

  4. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. For your children’s loss. I know there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better. All I can say is sorry.

  5. Laura,
    I saw your comment on Tertia’s site, and I am so sorry for your loss. I’ll be thinking of you and your family.
    Jen

  6. Laura, I also saw your comment on Tertia’s site. I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your children will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  7. Laura,

    Hi this is your old next door neighbor in Red Wing, Anne. James and I were very sad to hear of your loss. You and your family are in our prayers. We miss seeing all of your nice kids around the neighborhood.

    With love from Red Wing,
    Anne

  8. Laura, another reader over from Tertia’s. I’ll bookmark your site and continue to read, and I will pray for you, your beautiful children and your husband. There are no words.

  9. I’m another stranger from Tertia’s site. I just am so sad for you and I’ll pray for you.

  10. I’m another from Tertia’s site.

    I am so so sorry, no one should have to go through what you are going through.

    I will be thinking of you and yours.

  11. I’m also from Tertia’s site.

    I am so sorry. Reading about your pain made me hurt for you and your children. You’re right, it’s not fair for you to have lost so much.

    You’re all in my thoughts.

    Kate

  12. Dear Laura,
    I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.
    Irene

  13. Dear Laura,
    I’m so sorry. Word cannot express what I want to say but you are in my thoughts. It it helps, consider yourself tightly hugged.

  14. I am so sorry for your loss. Keeping you close to my heart.

  15. I wanted to tell you I went and looked at some of your flickr photos and you know what I saw? Obviously a man that was part of a very loving, happy, whole family. I hope that some amount of peace eventually comes to you. I’m sorry for your loss.
    Sissy

  16. Oh my. You’re right, in one of your titles- that really, really sucks, and I am so sorry for your loss.
    There’s not much anything, especially a stranger like myself, can say, other than that I will keep you in my thoughts.
    Creve de chagrin (crushed by grief)…there’s an abject lesson in french I wish you’re family wasn’t learning.

  17. holding you and your children in my prayers…

  18. Oh dear, I want to rewind your life for you too. This is tragic beyond belief and comprehension.

  19. I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss. I came here from Tertia’s blog. I’m a Canadian mom of 3 in Saskatchewan. I hope you will find great support from family and friends, now and in the months to come. I will pray for you and your children.

  20. I’m also over from Tertia’s blog. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your children. Much love.

  21. Hi, Laura – Here from Tertia’s site. I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my heart. *hugs*

  22. Laura, I came over from Tertia’s site as well. I just wanted to say that I am truly sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  23. Laura My name is Cindy I am so sorry for your loss. My husband and I knew Jeff and lost contact over the years. I remember how much fun he was, I remember parties at his parents house in callander, I remember when they built near greening bay road,and when his mom Judy bought the flower store. it devistated me when I put it all together after the fact. I should have been at the funeral in powasson. My prayers are with you. We have four children and I can’t imagene what you are going through. I would like to meet you some day, when you are feeling up to it.I would love to talk my # is 969-2467 feel free to call if you need a ear to listen, I must go I send all our love to you and the children, and God will see you through this tough unfair time, stay strong. bye for now. Cindy

  24. I actually can say, “I understand.”

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