I got the stupid tree up. It looks like yuck. Every other year we’d pick a theme for the tree. We’d make decorations, as a family and hang them as a family and sip cocoa and giggle and take lots of pics. This year, christmas seems so pointless. I don’t want to celebrate, it seems silly. But, I’ll do it for the kids, they still need christmas.
Christmas always seems so magical, I love that. I hope that magic will find me this year, I promise, if the magic comes this year, I’ll let it in….. I wrote Jeff a note and hid it in his suit pocket. I promised him many things in that note. One of the things I promised him was that I would try and focus on the positive and not the negitive. I am trying. and I won’t give up. I miss him so much. I wish he were here right now.