I got the stupid tree up.  It looks like yuck.  Every other year we’d pick a theme for the tree.  We’d make decorations, as a family and hang them as a family and sip cocoa and giggle and take lots of pics.  This year, christmas seems so pointless.  I don’t want to celebrate, it seems silly.  But, I’ll do it for the kids, they still need christmas. 

Christmas always seems so magical, I love that.  I hope that magic will find me this year, I promise, if the magic comes this year, I’ll let it in…..  I wrote Jeff a note and hid it in his suit pocket.  I promised him many things in that note.  One of the things I promised him was that I would try and focus on the positive and not the negitive.  I am trying.  and I won’t give up.  I miss him so much.  I wish he were here right now. 


6 responses to “Christmas

  1. I wish you all the ChRiStMaS MaGiC that your hearts can hold!! Love you! Can’t wait to see you all soon!!

  2. Good for you! Holidays are hard to face.

  3. Laura, you have no idea how much I admire your strength of will. You are my hero! Hang in there Honey! You are a survivor! Love You! Carol.

  4. It’ll be there. Maybe just a little, but it will be there.

  5. Thanks for your email. I feel the same way about Christmas this year- especially because I am Jewish, so all my Christmas memories are with my husband. I WILL get through this, though, like you, and like you, for my son’s sake. I figure if there are some moments where I don’t feel horrible, that’s pretty darn good. Hang in there. xoxox

  6. I’m sitting here crying in my office as I read this.

    Your strength is inspiring.

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