2 weeks + 2 days

Today was a hard day, but it was also a good day.  I think the “fog” I have been in lately is lessening.  I was able to think and complete things today.  I delt with some of the “technicalities” of his death.  I even shopped for some christmas presents for the kids.  I made some decisions.  The kids are not going to go back to school on a regular basis until after christmas.  In the mean time, I’ll bring them in when it’s convient for me or when there is something “fun” going on.  Right now we need to focus on our family, we need to learn how to interact without our dad and our husband.  We need to learn how to live with out Jeff.  As much as I hate saying that, it’s true.  We still need to function as a family.  I don’t want to, but I have no choice.  I miss him so much, everyday the missing him part gets more and more intense.  I want him to be here, living his life and fulfilling his dreams with us, his family.  I hurt, I ache, I weep, but I still have to go on, I will put one foot in front of the other and make him proud of me and his children.  I will, I promise.

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2 responses to “2 weeks + 2 days

  1. I know you will. You’ll make your children proud, too.

  2. You definitely will. Do let yourself have bad days, though- you won’t ‘feel’ strong all the time.

    I am also so heartened to see your community taking care of you. Our friends did that for me and my son, and their generosity took my breath away.

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