My Journey

One of the ways I see this is like a long, dark tunnel.  When Jeff first died my world went dark.  Everything that I knew was gone.  Taken from me in an instant.  I felt all alone in this dark strange place.  At first it felt like a hole but, as time went on I started to see a little glimmer of light, it was far away, but I saw it.  I knew then that it wasn’t a hole, but a tunnel.  With light at the end.  In this tunnel there are many little caves where you can stop and get lost in.  Caves that appear to be shortcuts to the end, to the light.  They are not.  They are distractions, sometimes they are good and other times they are bad.  Sometimes they are just spots to stop and rest before continuing on to the light, to the end of the tunnel.  I know that as long as I keep going forward, one step at a time that I will make it to the end.  Every step I take brings me closer.  As I get closer I can see more and more light.  That little bit of light makes my journey easier.  The better I am able to see, the better I feel.  When I feel better I can take bigger steps.  And bigger steps bring me closer and closer.  Soon enough I know I will be back in the light, where I can see things clearly, where I know that I will be okay.  There is no guarantee that when I make through the tunnel that there will always be light.  I am realistic, I know that at any time a cloud may come and darken my world again, but a cloud floats on by, it never stays too long.   Jeff was one of the most important things in my life.  And this is one of the hardest journeys I will ever have to make, but I will, for him and for me and for the kids.

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8 responses to “My Journey

  1. Laura,
    I understand elements that you are feeling…we talked about it the other day. I am so proud of you. I admire you, actually I always have…as a person, friend, neighbor, but most of all a mother. You love your children and have always ENJOYED them. You make life fun! I am so amazed at your strength right now. You have stepped up even when your heart is so weak and been there for the kids. Take care of you too. We are here for you.
    All of my love, Jen

  2. what a great image.
    …strength for your journey

  3. Laura, I love how you decribed a dark cloud being just that…a cloud, that will eventually float on by. It is very comforting that you have found little glimmers of hope, and that you are looking towards the future. None of us will ever forget Jeff. Can’t wait to see you and the kids on Christmas! Talk to ya soon!

  4. Can’t wait to see you all for x-mas. It will be a good holiday with a little sadness in it but we will make it! love you all.
    mom

  5. Thinking of you on your journey. I’m cheering on the sidelines for you.

  6. Still sad but a very touching image. I do hope you will not get stuck anywhere too long while being on that journey. I wish you will feel comfort and support. Hopefully the light will be brighter each day. Hopefully it will provide some warmth. Still praying for you.

    G.

  7. Thinking of you. My heart hurts for you and your family.

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