I feel lost

I feel like I am lost.  I don’t know what to do.  Or where to go.  I feel alone.  No one knows what I am feeling, no one gets it.  People try, and I appreciate it, but no one really knows.  I am afraid to make choices, what if it’s the wrong choice?  I can’t concentrate, I can’t complete anything, I can’t focus.  I’m lost, I have lost, I’ve lost me.  I’ve lost who I used to be, I’ve lost Jeff and Laura.  I miss them.  I want them back, I want him back and I want me back.  

Even tho I have lost, I am not a loser.  I will get through this.  I promised Jeff I would.  and I will.

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5 responses to “I feel lost

  1. I understand how you feel. My boys are older, 21 and 22 years old. But sometimes that can be a mixed blessing. They are off on their own at college and come home ocassionally. I hope things are going better. If nothing else, I hope you know I understand somewhat how you feel. I lost my husband in a tractor accident on October 1, 2007. We had been married over 22 years.

  2. Laura, it may be too early for this, but have you thought about a support group for people who have lost their spouse? I am part of a group of women who have lost babies, and I cannot tell you how much it means to me, and how much it has helped me. It has made me feel so much less alone – I know they understand how I feel. And with them, I am free to talk about my daughter and how sad I am as often as I need to. They totally get it. Just a thought.

  3. I don’t understand, you’re right. But, I’m listening.

  4. You are doing what you can, and many people are praying for you and wishing you well. You will be fine, you are a great mom, you have people to listen to you.

  5. It’s hard work, I think, redefining who you are on your own. And who wants to, when they’re happy with the previous definition? I hope, though, at the end of the day, it proves worth it, and you and your kids look back proudly on the person you become.

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