Naughty Laura

So I made it past the 2 month mark, does that mean I am done being sad?  Does that mean things will get better/easier from this point?  Gosh, I hope so.  i can’t handle much more.  The mood swings, the wondering brain syndrome, the ache I feel everytime I see a dad with their kids, the hurt of being alone, oh, the list goes on and on…  (stop it Laura, we’re bing positive here)

I have recieved tons of emails like this:

Hi Jeff,

What is your current work status?  I have a Design Eng. opening that might be of interest to you.


BlahBlah (name has been changed)

I am sick of having to tell strangers that Jeff is gone so I have been getting creative in my lonely hours, this is what I replied: 

 Jeff was recently killed in a car accident.Currently he is an angel, and although I am very unhappy with his current position, I’m thinking he probably likes it.Thanks for thinking of him. ~Laura

I know, I’m bad, but it’s okay right?

That is still not as bad as what I did to a poor gentleman who came to my house to offer his condolances.  (if I tell you will you promise to not think I’m too bad?  Oh, and please don’t tell Jeff, he’d tape my mouth shut)

Okay, it was a very stressful day.  and I’d had about six other strangers at my door, the kids were driving me nuts and I wasn’t thinking, at all.  So this man comes to my door and asks

“are you the one who lost her husband?”   

I was sad, and everything was so raw, and I wasn’t thinking and I replied:

“Yeah!  Did you find him?”

The look on that poor man’s face was priceless.  I apologized as soon as I realized what I had said.  AND I did feel really bad.  He hasn’t come back to visit me again….

Naughty, Naughty Laura, but I did the dishes today.




6 responses to “Naughty Laura

  1. hee hee. kind of funny, though.

    My friend’s daughter passed away a few years ago and someone asked her the same thing. “Are you the woman who lost her daughter?” her reply was “Yes, how careless of me.”

  2. Hi Laura,
    In the last few days I have seen hints of the “former Laura’s” sense of humor. You may not recognize it but I think you are healing. You are a true joy – always have been even in adversity (I’m remembering some “Day in the life….” stories.
    Love, Jean

  3. Ha!

    This post = why you are my friend and also why I know you’re going to be okay.

  4. Yeah. Did you find him?

    I’m sitting in the lounge of the VW dealership, and I snorted out loud when I read that. I didn’t find that kind of sarcastic reply until I’d been on the WidowRoad for 6 months or so. Let the humor come through, because it really is healing.

    As for the rest of it … ummm … well … no. It doesn’t get easier after 2 months. But it WILL get easier, I can promise you that. I just can’t tell you when.

    — Alicia (from the ywbb) wishing you a measure of peace (and laughter) today

  5. I stumbled onto your website yesterday, and sat over an hourreading post after post. I shared your story with my family, and have been praying for you. You have a beautiful family, and I pray that the love you all share will, in time, be healing.

  6. Laura, my spouse and I just read your post, and we just started laughing. Don’t feel too bad, I am sure he knew you didn’t mean anything by it.

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