A good friend has pointed out to me that this grieving process is like a boxing match. Every second is a fight. Every second hurts. To win the fight one has to be strong and face the opposition face first. One can’t be afraid to get knocked down. You must get up. It’s a battle of will. The one with the most heart will be the victor. You can’t give up half way through. You have to fight to the end, when ever the end might come.
Each day I argue with myself to get out of bed. Each day I fight with time. Each day I fight for a smile, a giggle, or even a snicker. Every day I wonder if I can win. Each time I get knocked down I force myself to get back up and finish this. This is a fight that I will win. I will get up, I will keep going.
Even though I am tired, I’m exhausted, and I am so sad. I am so lonely, I miss being a side kick, I miss being a wife, I miss being loved. I will fight, and I will be victorious, and after a while I will be happy again, without having to fight anymore. I will have fought for victory, and victory will be so sweet.
Can you tell I’m bummed out? This just so totally sucks. I wanna curl up in bed with a good book, lots of chocolate and a bottle of wine…. ahhh…what aspirations I have.
Do me a favor, this Valentines Day do someting sweet for someone that is alone. Send a card, chocolate, flowers whatever or just call and wish them well. Just do someting. It sucks to be so alone on a day meant for couples.
Thanks for listening to me whine…..