The next few days will be “the begining” but will also be “the end”. The begining of a new chapter in our lives. The begining of actually living our lives once again. The start of the “moving forward process”. Getting the kids back on a schedule, back at school, back to being Kids again. Getting organized, and taking care of ourselves. Being responsible and stable. I am scared.
It will be the end of Jeff’s “happily ever after” that he had planned for all of us. It will be the end of “feeling” him here, near us. It will be the end of the Hayloft, and the Tree fort villiage. It will be like closing a door on what was. I don’t want to. I miss the happily ever after. I wish things were different, I wish we were all back together LIVING the happily ever after. I miss him, I miss him soo much. We all miss him. Life is so unfair.
But, I will do this, I can do this.
Things here are a big, fat OKAY. Not good, but not bad. I am way behind on packing. It’s a good thing I work well under pressure. I feel like this will never end. I know it will, but it feels like forever. Time can be a tricky thing.
I’m frusterated with my progress. I’m frusterated with the kids. I have no more patience. I want things NOW and what things done NOW. Ben is being difficult because he doesn’t want to move, and Joe is still just one-handed. Juli is enjoying a multitude of mood swings, Sam has actually been pretty good and Sally is just totally grooving on my in-attention to her. She has been Trouble, with a capital T. All of this put together = grumpy Laura, and I hate being grumpy.
But, I can do it
I will do it
with a smile
I’ll make the best of what I have.
(weather I want to or not)
Uuugghhh!! I am so mad! I just found out that it will take TEN freaking days for my stuff to reach the new house in MN. TEN freaking days of living out of suitcases with FIVE kids. LOVELY!! It just keeps getting better and better. Oh well….
I’m heading back to fantacy land where everything is bright and sunny. See Ya!
Stable, boring, dull. That is what I want. I really don’t like where I am now. I wish I had a magic wand *poof* and be done. I’ve been cranky, bitchy, and whiny. I haven’t been able to sleep, eating is still an issue, and I always have that “tied in knots” feeling. Laura is not a happy person right now. Too much to do and not enough time. Too much to think about. All I can do is have faith I am making the right move (heehee pun intended) and hope for the best. It’s a damn good thing I am such an optimistic person.
Here’s to the grass WILL be greener on the other side.
Do not hide eggs after drinking wine. Especally if your kids give up easily. We still have one stinking egg missing. This is why it’s nice to have two parents for holidays. Back-up!
PS. I hope it doesn’t end up in a packed box…Ewww!
First of all… HAPPY EASTER!! I hope the bunny brings you all kinds of candy and smiles!!
I love having the wrath of the Easter Bunny to threaten the kids with. It’s like magic!
Jeff’s sister was here for a few days to help me out. She cleans and chases kids and even packs. It was nice. Except for… She is so sad. She is going to miss us so much. The kids are their last connection to Jeff. I thought I was giving up alot by moving, they are giving up more by letting us go. They are great people. We will miss them so much.
Joe’s hand is healing nicely, it looks like a horror movie, but I hear it’s supose to. All his burnt skin is falling off. Luckily it is infection free.
Packing is coming along. If I had to guess I’d say I’m about 60-70% done. I have boxes all over. Anyone who wants to help is more than welcome to stop by and pack or bring boxes. I hate this, it really feels like I JUST UNPACKED everything, and now I have to pack it back up. Oh, the Joys!
Updates may be sparce in the upcoming weeks. Ya know, with moving and all. I’ll make sure to update when I can. (I’ll need the therapy)
Thanks for thinking of us! ((Hugs))