I survived the cleaning frenzy. There were people here to see the house. I cleaned for almost 48 hours. I learned the importance of daily maintanence. Luckily, they loved the house.
I was going to celebrate with a nap and cereal for supper. The kids decided that I shouldn’t sleep, and I realized we had run out of disposable bowls. So for supper we had chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy and corn on paper plates with plastic silverware. It was lovely. Now, for the rest of the night I am going to do NOTHING!!
Yesterday the kids had their pictures taken by our neighbor. He did a fantastic job of getting all 5 of them to sit nice and smile, even all at the same time. That’s talent! As soon as I get them I’ll show you all. I can’t wait!
I spent some time outside with the kids and realized how much I am going to miss this place, and the people here. It is so hard to let go, so hard to stay focused on the future when the past keeps calling me back. I feel so torn, stuck between what I know and the unknown. I really don’t like this feeling. It’s strange, we lived in Red Wing for 9 years, and I didn’t want to move, okay, I REALLY didn’t want to move, but I was still able to get excited about moving and welcomed the new adventure (after kicking and screaming) Now, it’s different. I feel almost tied here, I feel a pull. I know it’s because this is where Jeff last was, but it’s just odd. It’s a feeling I really can’t explain. We’ve been here almost longer without him then with him. I wonder if in 5 years I’ll reflect back on this time and this place and feel the same way, or if I will think of this time, this place and remember it as a miserable peroid of my life. I have cried more tears here, then in any other place. I have lost more here then anywhere else, and I am leaving soo much behind. I wonder…
I also wanted to say thank you to everyone who comments. I love reading your thoughts and ideas. I love knowing that you are thinking of me. I often go back and re-read your comments. I can’t re-read what I write because it depresses me way to much, but I love re-reading the comments. You are all very important to me. Thank you bunches!