It’s been 5 months and 7 days since Jeff died. I miss him, the kids miss him. Sometimes it still feels like a bad dream, a dream that I wish i could wake up from. I don’t know how to get back on track. Our lives have been so chaotic for the last 5 months and 7 days. All of us miss they way things used to be, the way things should be. I wish, oh how I wish, but no matter how much I wish, he is still not alive.
I need to find a way to put stability and order back into our lives. I think that once I can do this then things with the kids will settle down a bit. Once we have more of a routine, and schedule then I will feel better. Once we are not living out of boxes things will be easier.
I have to stop focusing on distractions and start actually doing the things that need to get done. I need to prioritize and stick with it. I need to make some lists, and actually do what is on the list. Once I do this, I will feel better. Once I get the big things out of the way, then I can have fun with the distractions. I need to work first, and then play.