Monthly Archives: May 2008

rest of the story…

Luckily, my darling son knows where the sheriff lives (does anyone else find this odd?)  We drive over there, and I explain the situation.  Meanwhile I am limping and holding my thigh, I can feel it swelling.  He askes to take pics of the bite marks.  Umm… sorry sir, but I am not taking my pants down in the middle of the street.  He photographs Ben’s bite and instructs my to go home and put some shorts on so he can take a pic of my bite.  By now my thigh really hurt.  I jumped in the car with Ben and whipping my pants down so I could see it…OMG!  You could actually see the bruise spread.

So we get home and the cop comes over, takes pictures of my thigh, and tells us he talked to the dog owner (who was at home when the dog bit me) and found out that the dog has had his shots.  Thank goodness.  I don’t know what will happen to the dog, he will either have to be put down or insured if the cops determine he is a “dangerous dog”. 

As for Ben and I, we are both fine.  Ben quit whining so I assume his bite doesn’t hurt to much, and mine still hurts, but not too bad.

I leave for Canada in the morning and Jeff’s burial is on Saturday.  Send me postiive vibes please!!

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Drama

So I’ve been wondering… Am I attracted to drama?  or is drama attracted to me?

 

dog bite day 2 (pm)

(notice how nice my nails look???)

I was bit by a really cute fluffy dog.  How freaky is that?  Want the whole story?

I see Ben limping around the house.  He informs me he was attacked by a dog.  Apparently he was riding his bike and this dog got off his chain and chased down my kid and bit him on the calf.  So I load up Ben in the car to find this dog and make sure he has been vaccinated for rabies and what-not.  We found the house and this cute little fluffy dog was chained up outside.  to get to the door I have to get by the dog.  At this point I’m thinking Ben was mean to it and that’s why the dog bit him.  So I slowly approach, hold out my hand to be sniffed, and the freakin’ dog attacks ME!!!  Ben is laughing his ass off in the truck…

Luckily Ben “knows” where the sheriff lives so we head on over there….

I’ll have to finish the update later, sorry, naughty kids.

 

What’s up?

Well, I survived 6 months.  The kids didn’t know, which is good I think.  They were spoiled rotten, which they enjoyed.  I did okay.  There were a few times where I wondered if I was going to make it, but I made it and that’s what counts. 

I’ve been busy trying to organize for the trip back up north.  In 8 days Jeff will finally be buried.  I think it will bring closure, or I hope it will.  I really want to see how the headstone turns out.  I hope it’s as perfect as I think it will be.  Wish me luck and send positive vibes…

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.  I have really needed them lately.

If I knew

If I Knew

If I knew it would be the last time
that I’d see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew this would be the last time
I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say “I love you,”
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I would be there to share your day,
well, I’m sure you’ll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there’s always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our “I love you’s“,
and certainly there’s another chance
to say our “Anything I can do’s?”

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I’d like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
and today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you’ll surely regret the day
that you didn’t take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss,
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
whisper in their ear,
tell them how much you love them
and that you’ll always hold them dear.

Take time to say “I’m sorry”, “please forgive me”,
“thank you” or “it’s okay”.
And if tomorrow never comes,
you’ll have no regrets about today.

Author Unknown

 

In one hour…

In one hour.  It will be 6 months since Jeff died.  It seems like it’s been longer,  and at times it feels like it was just yesterday.  Oh, how I miss him. 

I really can not believe that this is my life now, how did this happen?  Why did this happen?  How do I make it better?  Why can’t I fix it?

I wish i could flag down the waitress and say “ummm.. excuse me, this isn’t the life I ordered, take it away and bring me my happy life back”  (maybe I’d even say please)

I was really hoping to celebrate making it to 6 months, or at least be proud of surviving to 6 months, but neither will be happening.  All I want to do is cry and scream “WHY ME, WHY HIM, WHY DO MY KIDS HAVE TO BE WITHOUT THEIR DADDY?”  Life is so unfair.

Tomorrow I will make a list of what I am grateful for.

Tomorrow I will buy the kids each a present, but not because I am trying to make up for the fact that their dad died.  Okay, I am, but so what….

Tomorrow I will try and be nice to everyone, even the stupid drive-thru chic at Wendy’s.

Tomorrow I will not spend all morning planning how to sneak a nap in, instead I will load the dishwasher (and then nap)

Tomorrow… It will just be another day without Jeff.  Another day in the life of ‘poor widdo me’ (heehee that was a funny, did ya catch it?  poor widdo/little me..)  I am grateful I still have a sense of humor, however warped it may be….

Just in case you were wondering

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, but make sure you have lots of sugar.

When it rains on your parade, it’s okay, grab an umbrella and splash in the puddles.

If someone bursts your bubble, just blow a bigger one.

You can either sink or swim.  I’d rather get an air matress and go with the flow.

Stop and smell the roses, in fact bring some home.

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, you can’t they’re eggs.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.  It’s more fun to have eggs in all of your purses.

If you have a chip on your shoulder, you just need some dip.

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.  Why not?

Sometimes it’s better to lucky than good.  I wanna be BOTH!!

 

Who am I?

I can sit and stare at the wall for an hour, or I could if the kids would leave me alone for that long.  I don’t laugh anymore, well, I do that stupid fake polite laugh, but not the real deep laugh.  I think mean thoughts, okay I always thought about being mean, but it was only “funny” mean stuff, now it’s just mean.  I have no patience, for the kids, or for strangers, or the stupid Wendy’s drive-thu chic.

I have watch spring happen all around me and really don’t care.  I used to love spring.  I loved watching the leaves fold open and the plants pop through the soil.  This year i could care less.  I haven’t even really been outside.  Well, I did go out and ax a couple trees yesterday, but that was just therapy.  Poor trees.  *evil snicker*  (see mean thoughts)

I plot ways to get a nap.  Big elaborate plans, along with plans B, C, D, and E.  Then get frusterated when they don’t happen.  Ben cooks more than I do, but that’s an important life skill (or so i keep telling my guilty self)  I have taught Sally how to change her own diaper instead of potty training her (can that be concidered a life skill too?)  I have fantacies of hiring a nanny, a maid, and a chef (but I guess I always have)  I spend way too much money bribing the kids to leave me alone (life skill?)

Right now I am coping.  I am getting by.  Very few things bring me joy anymore, but the things that do I hold on tightly to.  I am still trying to figure out how to be both mom and dad to 5 kids.  I am still looking for normal, and still hoping it’s right around the corner. 

Good news (or not)

*Sally Anne my adorable 3 yr old can pick all of the locks in our house.

*I am still #1 when you google “naughty Laura”

*Sam can scream louder than any girl

*Joe’s hand is almost perfectly healed

*Ben starts cooking the second I leave the house, but hasn’t figured out how to clean up his mess yet.

*Joe can actually do laundry

*Juli has perfected the art of ignoring me