Evenings are hard. I think it’s because everyone I know has their partner/husband with them in the evening. I am alone. It’s Friday night, Jeff and I used to watch movies curled up in bed on Friday nights, sometimes we’d even have popcorn in bed.
Life certainly lacks something when there is no one to share it with. There is no one here to say “good Job, Laura” or “I love how you rearranged the living room”. There is no one for me to whine about the kids to. No one here understands, because I am alone. There is no one to share my giggles with, no one to co-consipre on how we can get the kids to sleep early with. Why me?
I know God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but what if he has me mixed up with someone else? What if I can not handle all of this alone? Then what? What if “all this” screws up my kids? Ugghhh! Really I am just tired, so tired.
Sam and Sal had their second day at daycare. They love it, and I am so glad they do. I was able to spend 2 hours in the house without kids. I was able to clean and have things stay clean for two whole hours, it was amazing. Juli has a best friend. They spend all day, everyday together. Ben and Joe have a Red Wing friend staying over for a few days. They are having a blast.
Why am I struggling so much? Why can’t I just “do it”? Suck it up and get it done? Why?
Okay, this is getting depressing, I’m going to bed, ALONE. 8(