Last Year, at this time we were packing for our move to Canada. Amazing how much has changed since then. I thought moving to Canada would suck. After living in Red Wing for 9 years, I was not happy about the move. Suprisingly enough, I enjoyed it, I was actually shocked at how wrong I had been. Moving to Canada was the best thing for our family. We became so close during that time, the kids LOVED having their dad home more, Jeff had been right, I was wrong.
We spent 4 months together in Canada before he died. Only 4 short months, just a teasing taste of how great “normal” life could be. Then he died. The kids and I spent 5 months in Canada without him. Those are the days I can’t remember, the days I try and forget. I don’t know how I survived that time, honestly.
June 22nd, 2008, 8 days ago would have been our 10 year anniversery. 10 years! almost ONE THIRD of my life was spent with Jeff. I want that time back. Almost all my adult life was shared with him, who is there to share with now? Who am I without him?
In 8 days the kids and I are going back to Canada for a visit. In 8 days I will have to bring my children to the cemetary to visit their daddy’s grave. How do I do this?
It’s been 7 months + 10 days. About 220 days total. About 5,280 hours. About 316,800 minutes. About 19,008,000 seconds. I wonder, what if i would have counted out all of those seconds? I wonder how many of those seconds I spent crying? How many of those seconds I was angry?
How many of those seconds would have saved his life? Two? Three?
Time is a funny thing, cherish every second.
You never know which second can change your life.