Day 362

Before Jeff died I thought I knew what lonely was.  He travelled alot for work, sometimes it would be weeks without him.  Oh how I was wrong…  When he was away for work we could still talk on the phone, and I knew he’d be coming back.  Now there is just this huge empty spot.  I can distract myself, some of the time but things always jump out and say “YOU ARE ALONE!!”  and it’s so many stupid little things…  Like holding hands.  Having someone to ask about your day.  Having someone to do nice things for.  Having someone who appreciates you. 

I loved buying Jeff silly little presents.  I loved helping him pick out clothes.  I loved it when we’d make up our own silly little jokes.  I loved the tickling, wrestling and the physical contact.  I loved having someone think I was hot.

The things that I always took for granted, things that seemed so insignificent, are the things I miss most.  I miss my friend.

One response to “Day 362

  1. Have you read the blog of snickollet? She is a widow who has started dating again and writes a lot about her feelings regarding this. You might have to look at her older stuff. Anyway, maybe she is in a different place to you but it is interesting to read.

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