tour the zoo….

Welcome to Lauraszoo.  I am Laura the head zoo keeper.  All of these fine specimens have been carefully selected to insure the harmony and productivity of the zoo.

The first animals we have for exhibit are the primates.  This is Thing 1 and Thing 2 respectivly.  We have managed to keep these monkeys alive and somewhat unharmed for (thing 1) for 13 years and (thing 2) for 12 years.  Aren’t they just adorable.  But please do not stick your fingers in the pen, they do bite.  Also please shield the ears of young children, Thing 1 and Thing 2 both have filthy vocabularies.

 

Moving past the monkeys….

Oh, look here comes the baby lion.  We have had this lion cub for 8 years (although the cub thinks she is turning 13 soon)  We named her Roo because when she was just tiny she couldn’t roar very loudly and it sounded just like “ROO” Now, however she roars louder then any other animal I have ever heard, and she roars for no apparent reason.  She’s an interesting creature.  Watch out though, she may look so sweet and innocent now, but her moods change in an instant.  When they do, she’ll eat you alive.

If you look carefully over this way you’ll see our very special bear.  There isn’t another bear anywhere in the world like our Mo.  We have had him for 5 years.  He is incredibly cuddly and almost tame.  I did say almost because sometimes he has a bad day, and on those days we all need to watch out, he growls and claws and is very dangerous.  Today tho, he is having a good day, look at that sweet smile.

As we reach the end of the trail I want you to look quickly to the left.  Wait she’s not there.  Umm.. Oh, there she is.  Look near the fence.  That sweet little Parrot is named Woo.  Like most parrots they can be your best friend…sometimes…  And like most Parrots they can never be totally tamed.  They screech and holler, they make huge messes, but they are so so loveable, and beautiful.  She is worth all of the trouble she has caused in the last 3 years.